Burgerman

‘Classic Cheeseburger’ Review

A Sham Shui Po Star Shines

Unwrapping grease paper to reveal a somewhat chaos free prize was a surprising start to the Burgerman’s Classic Cheeseburger. The truth would hardly be veiled if the first problem was not addressed outright however; the patty was simply not large enough. An extra 20% more beef and it may have achieved unparalleled perfection in burger to bun ratio. That confirmed, the disappointing size only served to highlight the amount of joy delivered by the seasoning and preparation. Cooked to exact standards, a bold claim to make for any establishment, the Burgermen knew what they were doing and the Cheeseburger was quite simply an uncomplicated pleasure to eat.

Half a leaf of lettuce, one slice of tomato and a single outer ring of raw red onion was arranged on the lower bun, a dollop and a spread of white sauce on the top that tasted a little bit too much of ‘special’ was all prepared in plain view while the freshly grilled burger sat resting. Excellent news. Salivation from the incoming smells was only amplified by the thought of those juices huddling back together inside the meat, escaping a fate of doomed disturbance.

Instead of usual fluffiness a decent chew to both top and bottom buns featured, the bread soft in texture and taste. Holding firm, it lent structure to ensure good burger consumption control. Then that small star began to shine. Grilled to the greatest medium (without request) that Hong Kong has ever produced on this quest, it only improved with astonishing seasoning. A beefy looking middle with pink painted throughout, salt to draw flavours and pepper to make them dance the patty pulled away perfectly with every bite, avoiding all disaster of clumpy dry disorder. The timely rest off the heat made the whole thing a juicy joy earning a grin from any lucky soul to stop by the small shop.

Scant evidence of cheese on stage for a ‘Classic Cheeseburger’ but that did not detract much from the overall satisfaction. Unfortunately the strength of the special sauce lingered in post-consumption, but it would be unfair not to note the hint of that incredible beef seasoning lolling about on the sidelines. Problems all of which could be remedied by requesting more or less of any peripheral ingredient; the Burgermen seemed happy to oblige.

Destined to a takeaway travel there was no time for the Taunt Test; had there been a chance however it wasn’t large enough to warrant resting regardless. Without any doubt this classic takeaway reached Benchmark level standards, and Burgerman’s claim for Hong Kong’s Best Burger may be in serious contention with the infamous  ‘Trucker Burger’ surely ready to satisfy.

~ Pilgrim Mage

Outside The Bun – Burgerman

Burgerman on the Burgerank

Ruby Tuesday

‘Ruby’s Classic Burger’ Review

Ruby Rain

The Ruby Burger was presented in a straightforward no nonsense manner promoting nothing but classic charred character. With a uniformly shaped patty it had clearly been manufactured down to the inch to fit a likewise designed bun.

Selecting a chain restaurant would undoubtedly lead to examples of a copy and paste culture, yet RT made it work for both them and the burger resulting in a perfect (albeit defaulted) meat to bun ratio. Wet salad arranged under the meat however did no favours for the bottom bun and left it’s counterpart a bafflingly flaky contradiction.

Wrestling the first bite with enough food to keep busy was accomplished thanks to a good sized chunk of meat, but it was soon clear that the at first inviting char was mere facade; a superficial afterthought add-on rather than consequence of genuine grilling. In fairness there were unquestionably bites that offered a little more texture and variety in taste, but most of the patty crust fell short of escaping a soft finish.

RT’s Classic could have done with a good degree less of special whatever-sauce smeared between beef and leaf, but the texture of the patty was pleasingly without worry, gristle or strife.The burger was certainly not intended for anyone averse to juice when a light squeeze had the patty flowing like a flooded fjord, but at the vanguard toughing the torrent was a definite taste of cow dressed for the evening in spot on seasoning. Medium levels were bizarrely lost until three quarters through the burger, when finally the perfect pink began to shine through the downpour. This rendered the Taunt Test useless with a race to finish a burger that illogically, improved as it was consumed.

The final bite was satisfaction mixed with regret that it was over. With hat and coat it set out to deliver everything it had been created for, accomplishing all without a grumble. Not a flawless effort and hopefully still aways from the best Hong Kong has to offer, ‘Ruby’s Classic Burger’ has still earned a spot on the burgerank as well as the Benchmark seal of approval. Considering the aforementioned nature of a pre-fashioned, Ford Model T style burger, where exactly all the juice and taste came from is a mystery, and surely one any burger pilgrim would happily continue to try solving.

~ Pilgrim Mage

‘Smokehouse Burger’ Review

They Aren’t Straws!

Being a chain restaurant, I was dubious about the quality of Ruby Tuesday’s burgers. Primarily, I was concerned with whether they would just be an upmarket, overpriced Mickey D’s. Still, the Smokehouse Burger, with a plethora of enticing accouterments sounded rather delicious. So was it?

Well, first things first, let me tell you what the Smokehouse burger includes: Cheese, Bacon, Salad Stuff, Pickles, BBQ Sauce, Other Sauces, some crispy Onion Ring type things that look like fried onion blossom sheddings, and of course the Patty.

The patty was hearty, nicely grilled, and not overwhelmed by the supremely sized and rather tasty bun. The burger felty hefty in my hands, and gave me a great sense of bewilderment about how to put it in my mouth, and accomplishment when I finally managed.

A few munches yielded a fair bit of meat-juice leakage, but I do not mind getting a bit messy for the sake of good cow. The patty tasted nice (with all the placid beige connotations that come with that word) and there was patchy pink evidence that it had been cooked medium (though how it was only in patches I do not know).

The burger, with all the added ‘Smokehouse’ stuff tasted great. The bits and pieces all complemented each other well, and it was easy to pick out the flavours of everything listed on the menu. The ‘crisp onion straws’ (their bizarre choice of words, I’d have called them ‘onion-y bits’) were delicious, and the thick cut pickles were awesome if you are indeed a fan of pickles, which I am. My derisory prejudice about this burger being McDonalds 2.0 was proving to be gratefully unfounded.

I administered the Taunt Test and found myself instantly thinking about my next bite, like some crazed junkie desperate for another beef injection (heh). I tried to distract myself with the chips on my plate, but was soon jumping back into bed with this sultry smokehouse temptress. Sod the chips, and my mixed metaphors! This burger was tasty.

After a while though, the sauces and salad and cheese and pickles and bacon and and and became one overwhelming, homogenous, defining though hard to define taste. Like a movie extra jumping around in the background of a Scarlett Johansson nudie scene, it was trying to distract me from the only reason I was there in the first place.

Still, I would definitely eat this burger again. In fact, I am bequeathing RT’s Smokehouse Burger with my first ever Benchmark Brand!

It ruffles my anti-establishmentarian feathers to know that my first Benchmark seal of approval is going to a burger from a chain restaurant. However, while there are things about this burger that could be improved (e.g. upgrading the patty from ‘nice’ to ‘exceptional’), and while I am hoping that this isn’t the best burger Hong Kong has to offer, it is the best burger on the quest so far (a grave indictment of the quality of individual burger restaurants in Hong Kong that we Pilgrims have tried).

Onwards we quest,

~ Pilgrim Pickles

Outside The Bun – Ruby Tuesday

Ruby Tuesday on the Burgerank

Wolf Den

‘Bc Burger’ Review

Succinctly Smoked

Into the Den, and selecting the Bc Burger not completely without apprehension. With a menu largely boasting a mix and match collection of odd creations from a former catering chef, there was no guarantee that the ‘Bc Burger’ would indeed, be a burger. Any worries were soon quashed when the smart looking albeit small arrangement arrived.

Concerned chip bro looks on.

First pleasant note was the slight crisp on the outside of the meat, a nice surprise in a city that has seemingly forsaken the value of proper patty texture. The meat itself may have not been 100 percent beef, with pork perhaps lending a little fat and juiciness to the effort. The smoked bacon accented the meat adding a significant degree of flavour, but may have skirted the edges of overwhelming for the less stout hearted.

Seasoning was spot on for the relatively small amount of meat, and with each bite blessed enough to avoid dreaded dryness, the chef’s skills were definitely on display. Vegetables were present, but only as much as the child sitting in the back of the classroom vaguely pays attention to what is going on. The addition of cheese also helped keep the entire burger moist enough not to warrant drowning it in tomato sauce or mayo, aided a little by a sufficiently buttered bun.

The Taunt Test wasn’t really applicable due to overall size, but the burger did provide a surprisingly acceptable level of fullness and satisfaction. This may have been a result of the lightly toasted and refreshingly tasty bun, as much as it tiptoed down the acceptable line of bun-to-meat ratio.

With an offering not to be snorted at, the Bc Burger tastes exactly like it should, crisp, smoked, and without any complications or facade. In comparison to the Benchmark, it really is shockingly well valued, but that’s not what we are here for. It wasn’t the best, so we stay on quest.

~ Pilgrim Mage

‘Wolf Den Burger’ Review

In Sheep’s Clothing

Wolf Den’s Wolf Den Burger is one of the best named burgers I have had the duty of dispatching down my gullet. If only the manly pride I felt knowing I was eating something (almost) called a Wolfburger could have matched the actual experience of eating the burger itself, we may have had a true competitor on our hands.

Instead, the burger can be summed up as ‘adequate’.

Presented on the ever-popular-in-trendy-restaurants-now chopping board (who the fuck hid all the plates?) the burger had a quality homemade feel to it. The freshly baked bun combined soft and toasted elements to perfection while the patty itself was a good size for the bun, its errant shape letting me know it was hand crafted. I am hoping lovingly.

The first bite produced positive notes of good seasoning and an overall beefy taste that exceeded any expectations from a tiny out of the way café. The bare necessities salad-wise; lettuce and a slice of tomato on the bottom bun (an idea I am loathe to accept) meant no flopping around or desperately juggling slipping bits whilst eating what was in my gob. Overall the bread, salad and burger complimented each other well.

Now to the criticisms: the meat lacked a nice charred crust which is a necessity for the perfect patty. The more I ate, the more I detected bits of gristle alluding to the use of cheap mince (fairly sure I ate bits of bumhole and hints of hoof). And despite lacking a medium-pink centre, there were some oddly raw textures throughout; how a burger can look brown inside yet feel raw at the same time I do not know.

Similarly, I cannot fathom how a burger that actually tasted quite good could have this many flaws.

Results of the Taunt Test varied depending on whether each bite was raw, gritty, or genuinely flavourful.

I confess to having tried this burger before, when it was considerably more enjoyable, properly grilled and less bitty. But if the standards are inconsistent then that’s probably something that someone that reviews burgers should mention, so I’m mentioning it!

Overall the Wolf Den Burger does not live up to its majestic name. The bun, seasoning and salad were commendable, but once again, as seems to be the way with burgers throughout Hong Kong, the patty, the main focus, the whole damn point of a burger, was simply poor.

Onwards we quest!

~ Pilgrim Pickles

Outside The Bun – Wolf Den